Realizing that the end of my lease was at hand after living with my brothers for 4 years, I packed another box not knowing where I would be moving or what I would do to provide a stable, safe place for myself to live. All I knew was that I wanted to do this next phase of life on my own. As I finalized getting a tour set up to see a new apartment, I was flooded with good feelings. When I viewed the apartment the following weekend for the exact apartment I requested to tour, with the numbers adding to 777, I knew that this was the perfect place for me to step into a higher version of myself. I also planned the windows to face the direction where the most daylight would come in during the day in an effort to provide for my plants so I could give them what they need too to flourish alongside me.
Some of the reasons I wanted to live on my own were weirdly enough that I wanted my own kitchen. I love cooking and having direct access to the kitchen. Not that I didn’t have that access when living with my brothers, but it was different. There were all sorts of things in the kitchen that weren’t mine and the fridge got pretty crowded at times, so we had to split up shelves to give us all some room. I tend to eat more fresh foods, so I asked to have more fridge room, and they could take up more of the freezer than I did. We agreed on all that and were good to go. Having a full fridge and freezer to myself now has been amazing! I always know what I can make, there is less that can hide in there because it’s less cramped, and overall, I adore organizing it and keeping it happy in there.
Another reason I wanted my own space was so I could evolve my own energy and grow the feeling of it in my environment. As I mentioned in my previous post, I experienced a few years of depression and severe anxiety at one point being prescribed medication to help me through the worst of it. Being on the other side of it now has shown me how important enhancing a positive, happy vibration in my environment truly is. I sage my apartment often, I vacuum and mop it, I have crystals that provide their energies, I have my crystal singing bowls, and an open place to practice my yoga and meditation. I love the energy that I’ve encouraged to fill this space.
Although this journey has been exciting and filled with so much to be grateful for, it has also been challenging which tends to accompany most things in life. It’s all about balance and working through the new life challenge or finally getting through a previous one that maybe you thought you were done with. One such challenge that came up within a week of living here was getting my car broken into. People in my complex have nice cars, and just down the line from mine was a brand-new Honda, but they chose to attempt breaking into mine. I was upset at first, and it emotionally affected Thanksgiving with my family because my mind kept returning to thoughts of my safety in my new apartment, but regardless, it encouraged me to up safety measures for myself: getting an apartment alarm, a taser for when I go on walks, a dashcam for the front & rear of my car, as well as a wheel lock. My goal being to protect myself overall but also make my car more of a deterrent. The alarm would go off the second they opened the door, a wonderful security feature of the car, and then they’d have to figure out how to get the wheel lock off as well as turn on my car to quiet it which is pretty impossible without the key and my key can’t be duplicated. All things I was stoked to find out when this happened. Now I’m more protected than before this happened and I was reminded of the impermanence of objects as well as how quickly things can change in life. With these physical changes came emotional shifts as well.
Another challenge that reared its ugly head is loneliness. What a stinker that guy is. In my early adulthood, I had a few experiences that taught me that if I wanted anything done and in the way I needed it to be done, I’d have to do it myself and not worry about asking other people for help because they would use it against me or abuse my trust #hyperindependence which we’ll talk about more another time. I do mostly everything by myself: plan and take trips, go to the grocery store, weekend adventures, hobbies, working out, I take myself on dates because I’m not waiting around for someone to show me the love and care I deserve that I already show myself (another thing we’ll talk more about later).
I am my own constant, always present for myself through it all. I have friends, but adult friendship is hard and we’re all in different phases of life to where I don’t see them as often. I do things here and there with my family, but not as often as I used to because I’ve relied heavily on them in the past to get through things and I’ve wanted to see what would happen if I relied on them less now with my depression and anxiety in the past, but especially social situations because I was a shy, introvert for most of my life and still can be in many situations. I’m incredibly grateful for the support and love my family has shown me over the years. Their help has been invaluable in getting me to where I am today, and I will always cherish that. Living on my own now has been an opportunity for me to grow, but I’m not doing it in isolation—I’m still carrying their guidance and love with me every step of the way.
Although I’ve experienced loneliness, it has led me to work to overcome shyness and caring what others think of me which has allowed me to grow my own personality instead of relying on others’ personalities. It has also shown me that I really love myself otherwise I wouldn’t be creating boundaries with myself and others and providing this space for myself. I have found hobbies because of the feeling of loneliness and started this blog because of it, so really, it’s made me find new things in life to be curious about, to learn about, and to enhance my creativity which is empowering!
I have a lot of advice for anyone who currently lives on their own or is considering it in the future. The transition involves a lot—financially, mentally, and emotionally. Financially, living on my own has meant having fewer funds available each month, which has helped me create a budget and set purposeful financial goals rather than spending without intention. Mentally and emotionally, it’s important to be in the right headspace, especially as you experience the ups and downs of social life. To create a high-vibrational space for yourself, living alone isn’t a necessity; what matters is giving yourself permission to take up space. Even if you live with others, it’s important to establish boundaries. Regardless, you can cultivate high vibrational energy by cleansing your space and practicing self-love.
Ultimately, living alone provides the opportunity to step back and assess where you are in life and where you want to go. It offers a clearer perspective on how to get there and has helped me remove obstacles I didn’t realize were standing in the way of my goals. It’s given me the realization that, when it comes to making things happen and living in the NOW, the desire and drive must come from within. I’ve learned how to make my dreams come true by trusting that I’m the one who will catch myself if I fall. I’m not a cat, so I may not always land on my feet, but I’ll do my best to keep myself safe and flourish in my own energy. I’m not perfect, and sometimes living alone is really difficult, but I’m proud of myself for seizing this opportunity and embracing the journey of living on my own. What have been, or are, some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced when living on your own?
Now do a box breath with me. Breathe in as you count to four, hold it for four, release slowly with control for four, and rest for four. Repeat as often as necessary. Until next time ❤
The Sassy Sage 
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